Give hunting with your spouse a try. If you introdcue them slowly and follow the to-come steps, you may find a new hunting “bestie.”
by Darron McDougal
“There he is,” my wife, Becca, whispered after we’d been scanning the desolate prairies for a few hours. Hunkered behind several sage bushes that we had hauled in three-fourths of a mile on our backpacks, Becca had a slightly better vantage of the draw below. I asked, “Where?” She replied, “Right below us.”
I straightened up to gain a better perspective. Sure enough, the wide whitetail we were after and another buck were only 70 yards away and well within iron-sighted muzzleloader range. The wide buck walked towards the draw’s near side, putting the buck at about 50 yards. The angle was too steep for me to acquire him while sitting on my butt, and the afternoon was far too calm to shift to my knees. I was going nuts!
Finally, the buck returned to the middle of the draw and stopped at a quartering-away angle precisely 54 yards away. I buried the metal crosshairs 10 inches behind his front leg and told Becca, “It’s going to be loud.” BOOM! A plume of smoke filled our view, and the buck emerged through it, heading our way before veering hard to the right and disappearing over a hump. The other buck stopped on the far hillside and looked back our way, which meant my buck was down.
Quivering, I reloaded and then crept over to the hump where the buck had disappeared. There he laid. I cannot explain our elation as I fist-pumped to let Becca know that the buck was ours. We soaked up the entire experience for all it was worth. That hunt stands out more than any other. We planned. We executed. We succeeded.
Gauge Interest and Commitment
Becca accompanied me while I arrowed a bull elk, took turkeys with bows and shotguns, and sat beside me when I grunted an Iowa whitetail into 15 yards. I understand that not all spouses are willing to put in the effort that my wife does. She has hiked countless miles and pulled more than her weight on successful and unsuccessful hunts. She has hauled as much as 70 pounds of elk meat on her back. She has shared my frustration and celebrated my successes very well.
Becca has also hunted for and killed turkeys with a bow and shotgun, and she even bow-killed a buck back in 2017. Ultimately, she decided that the killing part of hunting wasn’t for her, but she wholeheartedly supported me in chasing my dreams and hunting career. Most of the time, she’s happy to tag along and help me with glassing, planning my stalks, making game plans, and assisting with recoveries when we’re successful. She also takes many of the pictures published in my articles. She is almost always a team player and has made countless sacrifices to be with me on hunting trips. Her support stems from our commitment to consuming only wild red meat. Success means food on our table.
Now, not all spouses are “Beccas.” Some are fully committed to being hunters and are entirely comfortable with the killing aspect of hunting, while others want nothing to do with hunting whatsoever. If you’re interested in having your spouse accompany you while hunting, you must expose them to some level of hunting. That could entail taking them hunting or beginning with a scouting trip or trail cam card pull. If both of you find that you enjoy one another’s company in the outdoors, it could lead to more and more outings together.
Keep It Comfortable
As you expose your spouse to hunting, one of the most important details to consider is keeping them comfortable. If it’s going to be cold, don’t take them hunting without the proper apparel, hand, toe, and body warmers, or heated apparel. Getting cold and being forced to sit still for hours is a great way to turn someone off, especially when they’re not obsessed with hunting like you are.
If it’s 100 degrees in an antelope blind, that probably won’t be much fun for them. If they’re not in great physical shape, dogging the mountains to pursue elk probably won’t be enjoyable. Bite off only what they can chew in terms of challenge and suffering. Dive off the deep end immediately, and you can usually kiss hunting with them in the future goodbye.
Keep It Amusing
If you’re going to hunt in the big woods where seeing one deer all day would be a feat, that’s probably not a good starting point, as the mundane hours will be too much for them to take. If sitting in a treestand for even an hour is torture, find other ways to hunt. My wife hates hunting from treestands and waiting for animals to come to us, but she is good at slipping around and stalking, and we have had incredible success hunting that way. Find what keeps your spouse in the game and hunt like that.
Keep It Clean
Spouses who don’t hunt are generally soft in spirit. If they witness an animal suffering, they won’t likely want to join you on a hunt again. In some cases, a poor experience with a wounded animal could turn them entirely off to hunting. Things happen in hunting but make every effort to make clean shots that yield fast results.
I genuinely feel remorse when I take an animal’s life, even though it is part of my lifestyle and the source of our meals. Becca has witnessed me sit silently and even cry over an animal I’ve taken. She sees that I have nothing but respect for the animal, which boosts her respect toward me as a hunter. I know she’d feel nothing but disrespect if I were boastful or acted triumphantly over the animal. Leave any macho talk and demeanor out of the equation, and your spouse will more likely respect you.
Be Kind and Forgiving
If you hunt with your spouse, especially if they don’t have incredible woods skills, they will make mistakes that spook your game. So, you must ask yourself whether it’s more important to kill an animal or hunt with your life partner. If you choose the latter, you must be slow to blame and quick to forgive. Making them feel inferior is a fast track to getting them to walk away from hunting and perhaps no longer support you. I don’t think you want that.
For Better or for Worse
I firmly believe that you and your spouse must be best friends to hunt together and genuinely enjoy it. Things will happen. You’ll occasionally become frustrated with one another. Your spouse might not share the same passion and drive for hunting as you and hold you back from giving it your all. When you’re best friends and trials like that arise, you’ll feel like you’re in it together, and that mindset will allow you to push through and overcome the challenge together.
Not all spouses are cut from the hunting cloth. It’s not in some people’s blood, and that’s OK. Don’t fault your spouse or compare them to someone else. Likewise, perhaps you don’t want or require your spouse’s companionship and the extra moving parts that entails. As much as I love hunting with Becca, sometimes I’m happy to be a lone wolf, plug into nature, and spend time with God without complications.
If your spouse hunts with you or at least supports you, you absolutely must reciprocate interest in what they love to do and support them in it. Becca loves pottery, soap making (using deer tallow, I might add), and other things that I support her in. That makes it easier for her to willingly jump in the vehicle and head on a hunting trip with me.
There’s more to it, but these are the basic ins and outs of hunting with your spouse. If it works out for you, bring your spouse hunting. Experiencing success together will be way more rewarding than any successful solo outing. It certainly has been and continues to be for us.
